Everyday Grace

Searching for goodness in the ordinary

The Answer to Fear

Nov
28

photo: Nina Uhlikova

This post originally appeared on My Collision with Christ as a guest post, as part of a 7-week series on fear. You can find that series by clicking here

Here are a bunch of things I’m afraid of right this minute:

  • That I can’t write a real thing that will help real humans because I’m not a real writer
  • That I’m too big of a sinner to ever be qualified enough to tell anybody else what to do with their Christian life
  • That I won’t ever figure out my real calling, or worse, I don’t have one
  • That I won’t ever get to be a mama, a huge dream of mine since childhood
  • That a lot of people secretly don’t like me and just pretend they do
  • That I’m not thin or pretty enough
  • That I misheard God and I’m missing His will for my life
  • That heaven will be boring
  • That I’m always doing the wrong things
  • That my mouth is too sassy to be a good, sweet Christian girl
  • That I’m just too much and not enough at the same time
  • That I’m too big of a mess for God to fix

Just in case you were thinking, friend, that I am writing this from the other side, having come through the fire and now I am healed of all fear and totally free of all of this, and now I can instruct you on the way out and fix your mess in three easy steps and four payments of $19.99, I’m not and I can’t. (I just don’t have that Billy Mays swagger, may he rest in peace.) But I can sit here in the middle of the mess with you and maybe we can figure it out together. Maybe the answer is somewhere in admitting I don’t have the answer – and none of us really does – but Jesus. Let’s run toward Him together.

I grew up without my dad. I’ve never met him, heard his voice, or been the recipient of one of his hugs. He has never sent me a birthday card, called me on the phone, helped me loft my bed in college, or taught me how to change a flat tire. Instead, before I was born, he decided I wasn’t worth sticking around for, so he walked out on my mom and me before I drew even a single breath. As a result, I have always been afraid that maybe I am more leaveable than lovable. That maybe anyone who I let love me would eventually figure out that I’m not worth it and skip out, too. (more…)

Should Christians Vote?

Nov
06

photo: Element5 Digital

In this tense election season, I have heard a lot of thoughts from fellow believers regarding not only how we should vote and who we should vote for, but also whether or not we should vote at all.

Yes, initially, I was super duper mad at these people who suggested to me that Christians should not vote. Are you kidding me?! There are people out there whose lives and livelihoods honestly depend on our choice of lawmakers a lot more than ours do. There are vulnerable people who need help and protections from the government in order to survive. Yes, the church and caring individuals can and should also take care of these folks. But if we do not participate in electing the people who decide these things, some will undoubtedly be left out in the cold. Aside from that, if we bow out of the system altogether, how can we ever hope to make it even a little bit better?  (more…)

All the Shoes

Sep
26

photo: Tatiana Diakova

I know I haven’t written in a while.

It’s because the events of the past several weeks have been something I haven’t been able to put into words. But I want to try, because there sure is a story in there that God wants to tell.

Let’s start here, because it’s my favorite part: about a month ago, Christopher proposed to me in Amsterdam and we are now ENGAGED!!! Y’ALL. I KNOW. Cue ALL THE HAPPY TEARS! The girl who was always waiting and has always felt unloveable is now the girl who is finally chosen. I still haven’t fully processed it. My heart doesn’t even know what to do with this information. I’m all discombobulated and thrown off, in the very BEST WAY. No words do justice to the amount of care and sweetness and thought and love he put into it, but I’ll still tell you the very best story from my life so far as best I can: (more…)

Why Grace?

Jul
16

photo: Michael Gaida

Today, I want to talk about grace. I chose it as the name of my blog, my podcast, my little corner of the internet. But I realized recently that I never explained it to you, why it’s so important to me. You see,

Grace changes everything.

A friend of mine once told me a story that illustrates what grace is really well. When my friend was a kid, he loved baseball. Couldn’t get enough of it, played it all the time, basically ate, slept, and breathed baseball. Once, when he was about nine, he was playing in his backyard with some neighborhood friends and accidentally hit one right through his parents’ bedroom window. Eeeesh. He knew he was in big trouble, and his mom confirmed he was going to get it when his dad got home. Knowing his dad, he knew that meant a spanking – probably a big one, with the belt – and having to do some work for his dad for a looooong while in order to pay back his parents for the window. He waited in his room, consumed by his guilt and shame – how could he be so stupid to play facing the house like that? – and full of anxiety and fear leading up to the spanking. By the time his father got home, he was a total nervous wreck. He could hear his dad’s footsteps coming up the stairs, and when his dad opened his bedroom door, he jumped what felt like a foot off his bed. (more…)